


London Comic-Con 2016

by Darkchrisbarrieblood



Category: Chris Barrie - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Reference to self harm, reference to overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchrisbarrieblood/pseuds/Darkchrisbarrieblood
Summary: London Comic on was meant to be a fun event for Chrissy. It was easy to get to and wouldn’t be too far from home. However, the event turns out to be anything but fun.





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own interpretation of what I feel would have happened. I have no idea what they're really like so...

Fans had come and gone from his table all day, seeming happy to meet him. Chris loved them, especially as some were very young fans which he thought he’d never see. It made him feel pleased that he was appealing enough for young children now to enjoy it. One thing had been bugging him; Danny had been acting strangely all day. He’d been vaping (or something) and whatever he was taking had made him act strange. When he came to see Chris for the short time he could, he acted very rude.

During the break where Chris and Hat left to get lunch (Dan eating at his table) Hat noticed that something was up.  
“Whats wrong?” Hattie asked as she sat at the table with food,  
“Nothing.” Chris said, turning from her,   
“No, theres something, Its Dan huh?”  
“Yes. He was rude earlier.”  
“What he say?”  
“Nothing.” Chris said, not wanting to eat. He had been fairly rude to him, saying that he was surprised he was here and not with Aleks.  
“You don’t want to tell me?” she looked at him closely,   
“No.”   
“Okay. Well, where you staying tonight?”  
“Hotel.”  
“Oh right. What room?” she said, getting the card out her handbag,  
“Erm, 28.”  
“Im 29.”  
“Oh well we can go together tomorrow.”   
“Yes we can.” Hattie smiled and looked at Chris. He wasn’t eating again which worried her.   
“So, erm, how’s Dan been with you?” Chris asked her   
“Not spoken to him.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. He’s not interested in me anymore.”  
“I’m sure he will later.” Chris said, interpreting the comment like she was saying he was ‘interested’ in her.  
“We best get back after we’ve eaten.” She said, obviously digging at him,   
“I, I’m not hungry.”  
“Chrissy…”  
“Just leave it.” He said, leaving.   
She sighed and watched him leave, worrying still. He hadn’t eaten; she needed to tell someone he hadn’t. She couldn’t tell Dan, not the way he was acting. She text Aleks he hadn’t eaten and waited for her response. By the time, she got to her table, she had replied, but couldn’t look at it with Chris sitting too near. He was too close. When her Steward came over, she glanced at it and looked, the steward blocking Chris’ view.   
Aleks had told her to  keep an eye on him and make sure he eats. She sighed and decided to call her, walking out of the hall for a few moments. Chris noticed she had gone, but still spoke to his fans.   


Chris had gone back to his room after the event. He was tired, too tired. He hoped it didn’t show too much. As he walked into his room and locked his door, he realised he was hungry.  He didn’t want to eat, he hated it, but knew he had to. He sighed and stood at the coffee table; he’d disappoint her if he didn’t eat, but he felt like he didn’t deserve life again. Then a knock came to the door. Chris sighed and answered the door; Hattie stood there, seeming worried.  
“Hi Chrissy.”  
“Oh, Hat it’s you.” chris said, letting her in.  
She walked in and sat on the sofa in his room, “How are you?”  
“Fine.” Chris said, taking off his jacket and bag and put them on the floor.   
“No you aren't.”  
Chris sighed; she’d noticed.  
“Chrissy, you haven't eaten since last night.”  
“Who told you that?” Chris sighed, getting himself a glass of water,  
“Al. Who else?”  
“Why you speak to her for?”  
“Chrissy, I'm worried about you. Something is getting at you. And you won’t tell me.”  
“I told you i'm fine.”  
“No.”  
“Yes!”  
“Chrissy, you need to eat for god sake.”  
“No. I don't. Im fine.”  
“ I don't want to have to look after you again and force feed but if it's what you want.”  
Chris paused, he knew how bad he was last time, “Wait. Fine I will eat. But, I don't want to.”  
Hattie stayed and watched as he ate a sandwich, it made him gag a little but still ate it.   
“Good. You know why you need to eat right?” Hattie asked, hoping he knew,  
“Yes, because, people need me here.”  
“Good.” She smiled and stood up to leave. But then she thought, what if Chris became bulimic and made him throw it back up again; he’d done it in the past. “Chris I’m staying a while longer.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I want to make sure you’re actually okay.”  
“Hmm. You don’t trust me.”  
“Well you’re acting strange. How can I act?”  
“I don't know.Just leave me like the others do.”  
“You know i won't.”  
Chris yawned, seeming to be tired from today’s event  
“Today has obviously exhausted you. Sleep now.” She got off the sofa.   
Chris lay down on it and sighed deeply,   
Hattie admired him, “ Oh what will I do with you eh?”  
“I don't know. Abandon me…”  
“No. I never would. You know that.” She said, sitting by him as he tried to sleep.  
When she was satisfied he was asleep, she went out from her room and went back to her own.   
She called Aleks, hoping she wasn't worrying too much.  
“Hello?” She asked,   
“Hi its Hattie.”  
“Oh hi. How is he?” she asked immediately, almost knowing that was the reason why she was calling,  
“Asleep. Thank god.”   
“He’s eaten?”  
“Yes. I mean it was only a sandwich but at least its something.”  
“Yes.” She sighed, “well, is he safe?”  
“Yes. Hes on his sofa. I moved sharp stuff from him.”  
“Okay.” Aleks said, “I will call him later, try and make sense of whats wrong.”  
“okay. I will watch him tomorrow.  I think it’s something with Dan.”  
“Well if it is, I will try and ask his fiancee about it. Right, best go, got the kids to deal with.”  
“James there?”  
“Yes he is. “  
“Alright. Bye.”


	2. Day 2: Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris wakes up to find some strange stuff happening.

Chris woke up and groaned. It was too early for him right now; 8:00 am was too early. He sat himself up, realising he wasn’t in bed and still in his clothes from yesterday. He hadn’t taken any medication simply because he hadn’t woken up to take it.  He grabbed his bag to the side of him and found the medication. He wasn’t awake right now. He placed it on the coffee table and rubbed his eyes. He wasn’t with the world today. Dan had text him during the night, as well as called him. Aleks had also called, but didn’t matter about her too much as James was there for anything major.   
The first text from Dan was, ‘Hey, U there?’, the second ‘Hey wake up and talk to me you shit’ and the third, hurt, ‘Hey wake up you white fuck, Hattie keeps asking what’s up and I’m saying nothing but she’s having nothing. If you’re harming don't bother talking to me, got enough shit up as it is.’  
Chris sighed and tried not to cry, this was the person who was supposed to help him. He opened the medication he was supposed to take and got a glass of water. He was on this for a reason, and he knew he had to keep it up, but why couldn't he just be normal.   
He brought it to the sofa where the medication and took them. They tasted bad but knew it would help.  Then, his phone rang, it was Aleks.  
“Hi.” Chris said happy, trying to hide the hurt,  
“Hey Hun, how are things?”  
“Alright, just woke up.”  
“Aww. Taken medication?”  
“Yes, was completely out last night so i took it now.”  
“Alright darling. James is coming to pick you up later with the dogs.”  
“Why with them? What’s happened?”  
“They want a run. Also, Cocoa needs something.”  
“Okay, well, we will take the old girl out then huh.” Chris smiled, remembering how she was like when they first got her.   
“Alright. You stay positive alright.” she said,   
“Okay.” he replied,  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too. Bye.” he smiled, blushing slightly as he hung up. He always became embarrassed when he said it but he did.

After getting ready, almost an hour before he was needed downstairs, there was a knock on the door.   
It was Hattie; the only one who seemed to care.  
“Oh hi Hat.” he smiled, letting her in,  
“Hey Chrissy. How was your sleep?””  
“Good.”   
“Good.” she then became nervous, “I tried talking to Dan.”  
“I erm, I know.”   
“How?”  
“He sent me these.” Chris said, showing her his phone.  
As Hattie read them, she became more and more angry. “What the fuck?”  
“Yes. I know.”  
“But,” she said, although already knew the answer,  
“What do i do?”  
“Not much. Just stay away as much as you can.”  
“But, he’s in trouble. He’s going through shit.”  
“So are you! Nearly relapsing last night should be your concern not him right now.”  
“But he tried to call.”  
“Just leave it. Focus on getting better.”  
“Hmm.” Chris glanced at his medication, wondering whether to take more. It would make him a lot happier, but would mean crashing the next day. His brother was taking him back, so didn't need to drive himself back. Everything was saying yes….  
“Chrissy?” Hattie said, noticing he’d blacked out,  
“Huh?”  
“When you going down?”  
“Oh in a bit. Just erm, give me a minute, have to take something.”  he said, taking his medication in the bathroom with him.   
“Aright, I will wait outside okay? Come out when you’re ready.”  
“Okay. Won’t be a minute.” he smiled,   
As he went into the bathroom, he heard Hattie leave the room. He cried as he took out two more doses of medication; more than he needed. He took them, forcing them down his throat as he regretted living. He remembered Dan’s comments and the abuse he’d received and cried to himself. He knew when he came out that Hattie would notice, but he’d simply say it was because he gagged whilst taking them. before leaving, he took a blade with him (a small razor), in case Dan’s comments affected him too much.  
He went out, seeming sorry for himself but smiled still.  
“Okay?”  
“Yes.”  
“Sure?” She said, noticing he’d been crying,  
“Yes. Just erm, gagged from the medication. I will be okay.”   
“Alright.” she said, knowing he wasn't.  
  
As Hattie and Chris came down together, Dan waited at the bottom of the stairs with a Steward.   
“Oh, now you show up.”  
“Dan please.”  
“No. Now you can be bothered.” Dan said, getting too close to Chris,  
“Dan, Leave him.”  
“Hattie protecting you is she?” Dan said, almost going to punch him,  
Chris just stared, clenching the small blade in his hand, wanting to bleed but rethinking about it; he had to meet fans. They’d notice.  
The steward broke it up, “Come on Dan. You have a press interview now guys.”


	3. Day two: Interview 1

Chris looked around the room; several journalists surrounded the booth, putting their microphones on the table and getting their cameras ready. His nerves were getting bad, but couldn’t show it. He sat next to Dan, trying to imply they were alright, when in actuality, Dan wanted to beat the crap out of him. He shuddered, holding the coffee he got from someone in his hand. He couldn’t show he wanted to cry. He had to hold back; breathing in deeply and closing eyes slowly to prevent tears. Danny’s comments annoyed him but Chris was more worried about the people around him. He was becoming too anxious. As he answered the questions, he kept his voice low to not make it obvious he’d been crying. He said he was fine when he wasn’t. Hattie kept looking over, almost checking on him. He listened, trying to forget his comments from earlier. He couldn’t, he couldn’t.  He couldn’t forget anymore, they stuck there like they were tattooed into his brain, unable to move. He clenched his hand tight under the table, not wanting to touch him. When he interrupted, he apologized, scared he’d turn around and hit him later.

When it had finished, they all got up. Chris thanked them and left, Danny close behind. He became anxious around Dan and put his hand in his pocket, feeling the blade there. God, it seemed inviting right now, but couldn’t; fans would notice. Why couldn’t he just…  
“Everything alright?” Hattie asked, catching up,  
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Chris said, sighing, playing with the blade. He wanted…he needed…  
“Well, you coming with me to the next one? It’s a panel, I’m sure you will like it.” She smiled,  
“Heh.” Chris said, letting her go on ahead.   
As Hattie got into conversation with one of the crew, Chris decided he’d have to. He’d have to hurt himself somehow. He…needed…pain… he took it in his hand and gripped it, not bothering where it cut. It was on his weaker hand; less noticeable. As he held it, craving pain, hoping he would bleed, Hattie came back over.   
Chris let go, not being sure if it made contact or not. He managed to unstick it from his hand by the time she came over.   
“Hey..” she said, observing closely,  
Chris smiled, keeping his hands in his pockets.  
“Is everything al…”  
“everything is fine.” Chris said, walking to where the stewards were waiting.   
Hattie watched him, knowing Dan has affected him, but wasn’t sure how much.  



	4. Day two: Interview 2

 Chris was dreading this interview. Whilst he loved fans and it would do him some good, Danny was annoying him. The way he was being around him, the way he was treating him. He couldn’t deal with it. He decided to ‘act up to the fans’ when he just wanted to sleep forever and not wake up. As they had the photo ops together, Chris putting on his ‘rehearsed smile’ for them, he almost held onto Hattie for help.  As they returned to the table and sat, he had to be careful around her; not showing her what he had done in that corridor. He still hadn’t checked, but he knew he wasn’t bleeding bad or noticeably.   
Dan’s comments and behaviour was outraging Chris. Vaping when he was talking was very rude and would have told him not to if he wasn’t in front of his fans. The rest of the questions were relatively good..all except one. The rather sexual question (where a fan had asked them what their strangest fan present was), had put him off. He became anxious and blacked out temporarily. God why were some so…different?   
His response to Hattie’s question was totally unlike him. He was joking; could’ve said nothing but no, had to say something.

Sure, he could have spent 7 hours with her and talking with her; he did so, but felt he had to say it. Her reaction was only playful, but felt like he had hurt her. He regretted it so much, why couldn’t he go back in time like he’d seen the games Alfie play; go back and not say anything.  With his comments about Holly, he almost gave her away, never meaning to. Man what was wrong with him? Maybe he was still not over his op, although it didn’t hurt anymore. After the interview, he felt he had to apologise; he had acted badly. He deserved to…  
She took it as a joke and smiled, rubbing his arm affectionately. He’d harmed there before and that was why she rubbed there. He glanced at his hand when he left. It hadn’t cut, damn. He wanted it to. He craved it. After the things he implied about Monica in his story, he began to wish Olaf had killed him when he found them together.  
“Hey, Chrissy, its okay. Really, don’t worry.”  
“I do though. I, I never meant t…”  
“Chris, its fine. Don’t worry.”  
Chris then, for some reason, began to panic. Dan and the stewards were walking back to the main hall. God, no. Not now. Not here. He stood by the wall and inhaled deeply, hoping one wouldn’t decide to come about now. No, not now. Not in front of these people, he, he couldn’t.   
Hattie walked over, “Chrissy?”  
He, he couldn’t answer, he just stood there and breathed.   
“Come with me. Keep it down for a bit yeah?” she asked him, helping him walk.   
chris nodded and controlled his breathing silently.  He walked past lines of fans and crowds, getting more anxious. He, he didn’t want to be here anymore. He, he wanted to be home.   
She took him into costa, hoping the coffee would calm him.  He sat at the table as she ordered the drinks, shaking a little, breathing deep only for it to come straight out again. He, he needed paun. He wanted it. He looked at his wrist and sighed. Why hadn’t he just…  
“Coffee.” Hattie said, bringing over the coffee.  
“Hmm.” Chris said, taking one and holding it. His TD was affecting him and his contractions worse.  
“Come on, control it now.” She whispered, placing a hand on his, noticing he was bad.  
“Im trying.” He said, gritting his teeth, trying not to go into a complete attack.  
“Please Chrissy, what’s happened?”  
“Dan, you, you know how he’s being.”  
“I know, that story…”  
“Don’t…just…don’t.” Chris said, catching breath. It was so hard, why couldn’t he be normal? He looked at her holding his hands and moved one to his pocket, needing the pain.  
“Chrissy?” she asked,   
Chris ignored, finding the blade again. He, he had to. He must, he had to have…  
“Chrissy, if that’s a blade...”  
He froze, it cutting him slightly. He sighed and brought it out, slightly tinted from blood. He’d successfully cut his finger fairly deep.   
“No.” she said, taking it from him, “you..”  
“Yes.”   
“When?”  
“Just now.” He said, shaking more, he’d failed her.  
“No no no.” she said, “This needs to stop.”  
“How can it? He won’t admit he’s wrong.”  
“Well something needs to happen.” She said. As she observed him closer, she realised his contractions were worse than normal and he seemed to be puffy a little.  
“Erm, Chrissy, when did you erm,” she began   
“What?”  
“When did you last, erm, dose yourself?”  
“Why?”  
“Well, I thought now would be a good time.”  
He got the medication from his bag and placed it on the table to take. Hattie realised he had already taken todays and was using the one he needed for tomorrow. She didn’t tell him she knew until after he took them.  
“Chrissy, you’ve OD’d haven’t you?”  
“…no.”  
“Yes. You think im blind?” She said, “You’ve taken Todays, Mondays and now Tuesdays.”  
“Erm…” he said, feeling guilty,  
“Why?”  
“I thought it’d help. With my erm, problems,”  
“Well it hasn’t has it?”  
“I was a lot better with the audience no? A lot more talkative and active…”  
“But you still overdosed, two times over the limit. You need to tell her. You could be in danger.”  
“No. No, she, she doesn’t need to know.”  
“She does. Im not having you going home ill and her complaining  I haven’t looked after you.”  
“Its not you.” He said, looking at his hands, he was still shivering,   
“It is.”  
“No, its me. Im such a weak person, I, I don’t…”  
“No, no more. Would they want to hear you say this?” she said, pointing around the room. Fans sat at tables laughing with one another, some of them definite red dwarf fans.  
“I…I..” he said, wanting to cry again. He wasn’t, he wasn’t important. They could live without him, but he had been told several times by fans he mattered so…  
“You are. You matter so much to them.” She checked the time, “we best go ack to our tables soon. Fans will definitely worry.”  
“Hmm. Will they?”  
“Yes, of course. Now come on, we need to go back to the table and you need to tell her.”


	5. Day 2: Interview 3

Between the time of sitting in Costa and standing where he was now, he’d been thinking of how to admit to Aleks about overdosing. He didn’t want to, and in fact, felt he didn’t need to. If he just said he needed to sleep when he got back, she wouldn’t know. Looking back over at Hattie, she seemed happy, but he still regretted everything. Fans came over still and had photos. ‘ _Why does anyone want me? I just hurt people.’_ He smiled at people and in photos, when right now he just wanted something sharp again. He wanted to…he deserved it.

Chris and Hat waited together for Danny to show up, he felt like he should apologise to her again, but he couldn’t with another person there. He decided that, to show he was sorry, he wouldn’t sit with her. If Dan asked, then he’d simply say he needed to sit there for whatever reason. Right now, he didn’t care what Dan thought; he’d do what he wanted for now.   


As they sat in the interview, Danny was still hyperactive and eating. Hattie was still watching him. He didn’t want to be there, but showed that he did. He was being hyperactive a little also; the medication giving him euphoria before causing him sadness. He was slightly anxious how it could affect him but had to be okay.   What Dan was saying about him being ill and hinting at his hypothermia. Chris was beginning to feel he was doing it deliberately and denied almost everything Dan had said (apart from the guest stars’ part). Dan had noticed, obviously, but ignored him.

After the interview, which Chris did actually enjoy, Danny then began to become mean again.  
“Rejecting everything I’m saying now?”  
“Please, I…”  
“You don’t agree with anything I say?” He said, getting closer to him,  
“No, its not that its.”  
“Then what?” he was too close,   
Chris panicked, trying not to show it much,  
“Heh, you always were a pussy. Never could fight anyone.”  
Chris sighed, clenching his hand tight, “I could…”  
Hattie then came near, but he signalled her not to come over.  
“Could what? Fight me?”  
“I, I don’t want to.”  
“No. You don’t.” he said,   
There was a moment of silence,   
“Whats gotten to you Dan?” chris asked, looking away from him.   
“Nothing. Im fine.”   
“Are you, sure about that?”  
“Yes. I am. Im fine. Ive been fine all day its just you who seems to be the wrong person.”  
“Im not. I, Im not you are.”  
“How?”  
“Implying stuff about me….Youve hurt me.”  
“Oh yeah? How?”   
“Your comments. How, how you’ve been with me…leaving me out.”  
Dan sighed, “I don’t have time for you right now.”  
“You never do.” Chris sighed, watching Dan as he walked away.  
Hattie came over once he had left,   
“What happened?”  
“Nothing.” Chris said, clenching his hand tight, “Fucking nothing.”  
Hattie could tell he was upset,and the fact he had overdosed worried him.  
“Is someone coming to get you?”  
“Yes, James.”   
“Then I will wait until he comes.”  
“No, please Hat i..”  
“No Chrissy. I don’t want anything happening to you when you leave. Especiallly since you’ve…”  
“Alright.” Chris said, getting his things together. Hattie was getting too close, but he didn’t blame her. He was beginning to feel strange and tired. As he got everything togather, Hattie watched him carefully.  
“Have you rang her?”  
“No.” he said, now sitting outside the hall. The fans had all gone now so, he didn’t care where he was  
“you need to.”  
“Why?”  
“Because she needs to know.”  
“Why don’t you?”  
“Because its not my place to say. You need to.”  
Chris sighed, knowing what her reaction would be. “No, I erm, will ring her when James is here.”   
“Alright.”  



	6. Day 2: Post event

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: does mention overdosing and self harm.  
> Also, mention any plot holes as I don't know if there is any

James had come in Chris’ car along with the dogs which were barking in the back when he pulled up.  
Hattie continued to stay with him, even though her male friend was waiting in his car close by.  
Chris got into the car and waved to Hattie.  
“So, how was it?”  
“Alright.” Chris said, still nervous. He wasn’t feeling right. He felt guilty; before leaving he had taken another two medication. He felt ill, but didn’t want to tell him that.  
“Sure? You’re looking bad again?” he turned around, checking on his brother.   
“Yes, Im fine.”  
“Good.”  
Chris contemplated calling Aleks, but didn’t want his brother knowing how he’d been. He’d always wanted to show him he could handle himself.  
After 10 minutes into the journey, Chris felt worse. He felt really strange, almost as if he was going to pass out.  
“Chrissy, you okay?” James said, looking in the mirror at him,   
“Erm, yes.” Chris clenched his hands again, away from view of his brother.  
“You’re looking peaky.”  
“Just tired.” He said, smiling, trying to hide it.  
“Well, Al’s said you haven’t eaten for a while so I will get us and Cocoa something from the services a minute.”  
“What, erm, what does she need?”Chris said, worrying about himself and her, clenching his hand to keep him awake.  
“Oh just a new toy, Merl kind of nicked hers so we need to get a new one.”  
“Oh.” He turned to the dogs. They were becoming restless, all worrying about him from their whines.  
James parked in the services. Chris still felt bad, what were the side affects of these drugs. He'd not gotten to this stage in depression for a while.   
“Look, wait here, I promise to be five minutes.” He said, worrying about his brother.  
Chris waited, becoming anxious. He felt very strange. Somehow Merlin had gotten out from the back and made his way to where Chris was.  
“Hi Merl what are you doing out?” he said, stroking him. Being the younger dog, he was sometimes bullied by Dexter for dominance.   
Merlin kept licking him, almost trying to make him stay conscious,  
Chris continued to fuss Merlin, making him happy someone. Then, he felt himself fading, his hearing going a little. He let go of Merlin and felt strange. Merlin barked, almost knowing to keep him awake.,   
James came back, finding Merlin with Chris in the back. He hasn’t passed out, but he knew it was possible.Chris rested his head against the window, not wanting to sleep.  
“You still look shit Chrissy.” James said, getting Merlin back into the back of the car.  
“I... I feel it.” he admitted, hearing continuing to leave.   
“Well, I will try and get you back ASAP. Don't want you getting cold.” He said, getting back in the front.  
Chris felt his hearing going again, but tried to stay awake, he was determined to make it home.   
“So, why was that girl with you?” James asked as he pulled out the carpark.   
“Huh?”  
“That woman you were with, who was she?”  
“Oh, Hattie. She’s an actress who used to work with me.”  
“What was she doing with you?” James asked again,   
“Erm,...” Chris became nervous, knowing he should probably tell him, but didn’t want him worrying, “I…I feel really tired so...”  
“Oh, right. She knows about your problems does she?” He said, driving,  
"Yes." He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t tell him he’d overdosed. He couldn’t.  
They drove down the motorway. Chris began to feel strange again, like he was going to faint again. This was the only time which he had ever felt this bad.  
His hearing went for longer, managing to keep himself conscious.  
“James?” Chris said, not expecting a reply,he had to tell him something was wrong. He played with his hands nervously,  
“Yes?”  
“Erm…” he said, loosing track of what he was saying, breathing deeply as he tried to speak,  
“Chrissy? What’s wrong? You want me to pull over?"  
“I…” Chris said, trying to stay awake, he mumbled words which didn’t make sense  
James wanted to stop, but couldn’t,   
“You’re what? You aren't making sense.” James asked, looking at Chris briefly, he seemed very ill and pale.  
“I…” Chris said, not being able to speak, he was panicking and felt he was fading. He shook a little, trying to reach for James.   
“Chrissy?” he said,  
Chris couldn’t help it, he continued to reach out for James and stay awake, but passed out, banging his head on the glass hard as he lost it quickly.  
“Shit,” James said, pulling over in the hard shoulder, narrowly missing cars.  
He examined Chris in the back, he was completely out. His breathing was very shallow; very unconscious.  
The dogs began getting worried and barked loudly; Dexter particularly worrying.  
“Alright you three calm down. Shh now.” James said, stroking Merlin and Dexter as he tried to reach for Chris’ phone in his pocket.   
Finding it, he rang Aleks; knowing she was the first number Chris had on there.  
“Al, it's James.”  
“James, why you on Chris’…”  
“No time to explain but, he’s passed out. I, I don’t know what to do.”  
“Oh shit.” She said, sighing, “This is so bad.”  
“Why? He may just be overstressed or tired. Ive seen him do this before."   
“I suppose he didn’t tell you did he.” she said, still sighing,   
“Tell me what?”  
“James, he’s overdosed.”  
James sighed and looked at his brother. Why? Why wasn’t he happy anymore?  
“Hattie said he’s taken twice over.” Aleks said,  
James checked Chris’ bag for medication. He found it in the back pocket and opened the packets. Both packets had four tablets taken from them; eight time over.   
“Well according to this, he’s eight times over.”  
“What? No.”  
Both of them sighed, not knowing what to do,  
“Right, where are you.” Aleks said determined, getting her keys,   
“Erm,close.” James said, repeating the sign to her nearby,  
“Wait there, I will come to you.”  
"Alright.Should I ring his doctor?”  
“Yes. Tell him about it. You know his name right?”  
"Yes. When you coming?"  
"Right now. Alfie can look after Louis and you have the dogs."  
"Okay. See you in a bit."   
James hug up and rang Chris’ doctor straight after. As he waited, he sat beside his brother, checking he was still alive. Merlin and Dexter were continuing to bark loudly and cry, knowing something wasnt right  
After confirming who he was and who he wanted, he replied.  
“Yes?” a fairly aged voice said, "Speaking?"  
“Hi its James, Chris’ brother. Erm, Chris has basically overdosed and is now unconscious at the back of my car so...”  
“Alright, how many times over the limit?”  
“Erm, eight times. He’s taken 4 more of each one he has on him..”  
“Right, you need to get him to hopsital. Thats too much over."  
"Alright. I can get there soon."  
"Right, for now for me, just check his airway, see if thats alright."   
James did, realising he’d been sick before passing out.  
“Erm, he’s throw up a little.”  
“Alright, keep his head to the side then, don’t move him much. Is his wife there with you?"  
"No, but she's on her way, we're on the motor way see so.."  
"Alright, stay on the line until you get to the hospital, once you get there, I will tell the doctors everything.”

  
"How is he?" Aleks asked the nurses, hoping he was okay now.It had been 2 hours since he had passed out.   
“Well,” the nurse said, not being sure how to feel, “we’ve emptied his stomach but there was hardly anything there and from the looks of it, his recent operation may be irritating him.”  
"Oh right, I see."  
"He wasnt responsive throughout so he was very unconscious. He is awake now though."  
"Can I see him?"  
"Well, yes. He's still very pale though," the nruse said,  
As they walked down the corridor, the nurse stopped, "I must tell you we are considering keeping him in for tonight."  
"Oh." Aleks said, hoping they wouldnt. She wanted him hope so she could look after him.

As she got to where he was being kept, she realised how bad he was. He was pale and was sitting up in bed seeming upset with himself. He held his covers over him, being self conscious.   
He noticed Aleks coming over,  
Without thinking, she hugged him tightly, not thinking of whether or not machines were attached to him “What have you done Chrissy?”  
“Something which I shouldn’t. I, I should never have...” he said, almost crying again,  
“Hat told me how you were but I didn’t know it was this bad…”  
“I know. I…I'm sorry.”  
“Hey, it’s alright. You’re here and safe now.” She said, rubbing his back and rocking him slightly,looking around for any eavesdroppers. He was shirtless, so the recent scaring he gave himself was visible. She realised how bad he was now; cutting about a month ago was nothing compared to this. Small relapses she could understand, especially with his problems, but this was very bad.  
"I'm afraid I need to ask some very personal questions." the nurse said, sitting down.   
Aleks asked if she could stay,  
“Well, what I am asking will be very erm, personal.”  
“Im his wife, Ive heard and seen worse than this. Trust me.”  
“Alright.” She said, sitting down, the curtain across. “I assume with the fact you haven’t been eating means your disorder is coming back.”  
Chris nodded, managing to control the bits of TD which came back briefly,  
“And when did this start again?”  
“Yesterday.”  
“So, how long have you been clean from that?”  
“3 months.” He said, feeling sorry for himself,  
“Alright," she wrote down some notes, "and what about self-harm, we can see where you have attempted so how long has that been back for?”  
“Erm,” he said, becoming nervous and panicky. He hated telling people about it.   
“Well he started a month ago after something had gone on.” Aleks said, holding his hand,trying to calm him.  
“Alright. And was the trigger something bad or just an urge from nowhere?”  
“Something bad.” Chris said, feeling helpless. He glanced over at Aleks for support, she was giving it.   
"Want to tell me the urge?"  
Chris shook his head. Aleks knew and wanted to say, but couldn't.  
“Alright, we must give you more medication to replace the ones you used today and we will pass this to your doctor. He may ask you about your urges so be aware of that alright?”  
“Okay.”  
“Erm, nurse?” Aleks said, getting up to see her. They spoke out of earshot of Chris,  
“Cant I take him home?”  
“We would prefer if he was here. Especially as he has harmed and overdosed.”  
“But, on a mental ward?”  
“Yes, we need to observe him to make sure the side effects arent too bad.”  
“Please can I take him back. I'm aware of the side affects and can keep an eye on him at home. His brother is home so we can both observe. ”  
“I will check with my superior,” she sighed, leaving,  
Aleks returned to Chris, seeing he wasn’t happy.  
"Hey, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing." Chris said, still down,  
“Hey, look, James says he may stay tonight. He’s worried as am I.”  
Chris sighed, “I didn’t want this to happen.”  
“Neither did we. We don’t like to see you hurt, but obviously, what's done is done.” She said, looking at the scars there. She touched them, feeling how they’d healed. They had done well.The touch comforted him and he smiled briefly.  
The nurse returned, “My superior said you can go home providing you go to your doctor this week. If the symptoms get worse, call us.”  
“Alright.” Aleks smiled.  
"You asked them didnt you?"  
"Yes, now, get dressed." she smiled, the nurse and Aleks leaving.

Getting Chris home, they kept him in his room and went up regularly to check on him. He had slept the entire time he had got back.  
Aleks walked up to his room, dinner almost ready,  
“Sleepy, wake up.” She said,  
He woke, “Eugh, what’s the time.”  
“8:14, its dinner. Do you want any?”  
Chris nodded, sitting up. He was feeling strange, but that was from being forced to throw up. He was hungry too.  
“You look better at least. More colour than earlier.”  
“Do I? Try telling my brain that.”  
“You’re fine.” Aleks said, helping him up.  
“hmm.” Chris said, “Thanks.”  
“Come on then, James is here. Kids have missed you.”  
“Oh right.” Chris said, following Aleks. As he got down stairs, the dogs greeted him; Coca and Dexter less energetic than Merlin. As he hugged them and looked at the family around him, he knew he couldn’t leave. He smiled as he now realised the people who cared about him.


End file.
